Above Average
I have been reading a wonderful book given to me by a dear dear friend, From One Ministry Wife to Another: Honest Conversations about Ministry Connections by Susie Hawkins. I have to say this is the best book I have read in relation to being a wife in the ministry. It is very candid in the relationships that a PW (preacher's wife) will have with different in the church. One of my favorite sections is on PK's (or preacher's kids).
So often PK's have so much expected of them. Honestly I find myself expecting too much of my girls too often. I have thought about this before but it really hit me yesterday when I was reading. I expect a lot but all to often I expect them to be perfect children at church, at the grocery store, at school, at home, well most everywhere. I guess that is because every parent wants their children to "behave" but since they already have the stigma of being PK's I want them to "behave" even more. But as I sat in the airport childless, watching other peoples children I realized I my children are NORMAL I just expect them to be Above Average. Above Average in everything they do. Don't burp at the dinner table, say excuse me if you pass gas and try not to do it if we company, do not yell or run in the grocery store and do not interupt an adult conversation (unless someone is hurt). We are striving hard to work on these things I mentioned. We are also trying to help them understand that being in the ministry is not a death sentence but an opportunity to reach others through many different ways. However, I have to remember they are CHILDREN and children are not born with these expectations woven in their DNA they are born as sinful creatures that have to be held, molded and given the opportunity to make mistakes, learn from them and be forgiven. So the expectations I have placed on my children I will have to be lax on sometimes and train them to do these things and remember that when they fail they are children and forgive them. I do want my girls to do everything whole heartedly, no matter what it is. Paul say it best in Colossians 3:23-24, "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inherietance; for you serve the Lord Christ."
So when you meet a PK don't automatically asume that they are all the same or that they all raise cain. And if they do raise a little cain......remember they are children, my children.
So often PK's have so much expected of them. Honestly I find myself expecting too much of my girls too often. I have thought about this before but it really hit me yesterday when I was reading. I expect a lot but all to often I expect them to be perfect children at church, at the grocery store, at school, at home, well most everywhere. I guess that is because every parent wants their children to "behave" but since they already have the stigma of being PK's I want them to "behave" even more. But as I sat in the airport childless, watching other peoples children I realized I my children are NORMAL I just expect them to be Above Average. Above Average in everything they do. Don't burp at the dinner table, say excuse me if you pass gas and try not to do it if we company, do not yell or run in the grocery store and do not interupt an adult conversation (unless someone is hurt). We are striving hard to work on these things I mentioned. We are also trying to help them understand that being in the ministry is not a death sentence but an opportunity to reach others through many different ways. However, I have to remember they are CHILDREN and children are not born with these expectations woven in their DNA they are born as sinful creatures that have to be held, molded and given the opportunity to make mistakes, learn from them and be forgiven. So the expectations I have placed on my children I will have to be lax on sometimes and train them to do these things and remember that when they fail they are children and forgive them. I do want my girls to do everything whole heartedly, no matter what it is. Paul say it best in Colossians 3:23-24, "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inherietance; for you serve the Lord Christ."
So when you meet a PK don't automatically asume that they are all the same or that they all raise cain. And if they do raise a little cain......remember they are children, my children.
he whitney i have the same habit. i try hard now to expect them to be what they are. when i am ready to ring there necks i remind myself they SHOULD be acting like active little six and seven year old boys. helps to put in perspective.
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hope your feeling well after surgery.
steph b.
i tried to put that in comment but it told me my email address has illegal charectors
Pk's just like PW's and Pastors themselves are human beings. None of us are perfect! We will all make mistakes from time to time. I think we do expect ourselves and our children to be too perfect sometimes. I have 2 wonderful kids, but they are human and they are flawed, just as I am and just as is my minister husband (thier dad) is. We love each other in spite of our flaws and most importantly, God loves us.
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